Practicing Ahimsa

I’m on day 2 of a 10-day period of travel, which is a good time to be thinking about ahimsa. I shouldn’t do these kinds of trips and I thought when I left the AFL-CIO that I wouldn’t do them anymore. It’s so fatiguing, and even agreeing to the schedule is an agreement to sacrifice time with family, physical well-being, good eating and exercise. But it all just kind of happened. I had to be in California for a work thing, and the timing of a yoga teacher training I really wanted to attend in San Diego sequed perfectly into my work week. And then I got asked to do another thing, and then another thing, and both were important. So here I am, steeling myself for the physical and emotional fatigue even while I know it will also be inspiring and nourishing.

It’s a good time to work on ahimsa, though, because all this travel makes me irritable and cranky and I really want to work on having less of that. And it’s not enough to practice non-violence when it’s easy – the best time to practice, actually, is when it’s hard. So that’s what I’m doing for the next 10 days.

The sutras that deal with non-violence are beautiful and deeply meaningful. They explain non-violence is one of the five universal practices required for yoga – the mighty universal vows unconditioned by time or place. That means we have to observe all of them, all the time, regardless of circumstance (the others are truthfulness, non-stealing, abstention and non-hoarding).

The commentary I’m reading now (Edwin Bryant) points out that in the philosophy of yoga, anytime there’s a list, the first item in the list is the most important. So non-violence is more important than the other four, and in fact, if you really get non-violence you get them all. Ahimsa is like the gateway to achieve all five vows. And violence is not limited to physical violence you do yourself. It includes violence done by others on your behalf. Being established in non-violence means giving up the spirit of malice and hatred. It includes avoiding violence in the form of harsh words or causing fear in others. Being firmly established in ahimsa means enacting non-violence in word, thought and deed.

There’s a big penalty for failing to follow ahimsa, and a big reward for succeeding. If you engage in violent acts of any kind, karma will make you victim to the same violence at some point.

And If you succeed, then the power of your non-violent expression can extend to those around you. (Sutra 11.33: When the student is firmly established in non-violence, other beings abandon hostility in their presence.)

It’s the harsh words, impatience, irritation and crankiness that get me. I would hate for people to know how often I act out when I’m irritated or frustrated. Somehow I didn’t internalize or develop the ability to control those impulses growing up. Irritation and frustration come out sometimes in ways that I always regret.

So how to change? The sutras give some very specific instructions, namely cultivating the opposite thoughts and actions. If you feel the seeds of irritation and crankiness, cultivate compassion for those around you. If you feel impatient, take down the urgency and remember that the world isn’t all about you. When you feel the urge to speak harshly, respond instead with loving, patient kindness.

So that’s what I’m trying to do! I have a three-part strategy for making it happen on this trip.

1)    Reflect every morning on ahimsa and why it is important to me to live it out. That includes thinking about my day, anticipating the moments or interactions that might trigger impatience, and being ready for them.

2)    Try to slow down! When I am irritated and impatient, I respond before I really think through what I want to say. And I never feel good about it after. I want to remember why it’s important to me not to do that and be able to remember it in the moment when it is happening.

3)    Keep a log. I hate to say I’m doing this because now I’m accountable to it. But I’m going to write down every instance where I fail. That means every instance where I am snippy to someone, or where I am more forceful than the moment needs, or where I say something judgmental and uncharitable about a person or situation. Keeping track is a way of paying for it when I do it.

I’m doing this, in part, because those moments where I am frustrated or cranky cost me something, in peace of mind, the power of relationships, and even in learning how to not put my needs first all the time. I’m also doing it because violence feels like the undercurrent for everything that is happening in our world right now, and if working on myself means others might abandon hostility in my presence, that’s a gift I want to offer.

I’ll keep you posted.

With love, gratitude and solidarity forever.