Outrage and Equanimity

We are living in a time of great uncertainty, of emotional and intellectual turmoil, of not knowing where are the limits to what may come. The definition of yoga in the sutras is the cessation of movements in the consciousness. What a time to practice finding stillness – when every day the turmoil in our world feels unescapable, unprecedented, overwhelming.

And yet stillness comes.

I had been reflecting these last few days on having a sense of equanimity. Wondering if it was really equanimity or was I falling into a state of alienation and disaffection. I have been losing the fire of outrage and wondering if that is good or bad. Aware that it is an incredible privilege right now to have lost the fire of outrage; my friends and colleagues who work on immigration, for example, are in the middle of a great conflagration of outrage. They don’t have the luxury of allowing the outrage to dissipate – they are being called, daily now, to bear witness to the violation of our collective humanity. To support communities in crisis and under attack. To find reserves of energy they can tap to respond yet one more time. I recognize that it is a privilege to be standing outside of that, a privilege of being white and a citizen. And yet, I wish for them to find equanimity in the midst of this crisis.

[Aside on immigration: the rounds of detention and deportation happening now are completely unconscionable. Residents of our communities who have been stable contributors - of hard work, of taxes, of support to the people around them - are being detained and deported, in some cases with the flimsiest of reason. The pretense of criminal behavior is laughable and easily disproven in most cases. If you think you don’t know anyone who is undocumented, you are probably wrong. If you think you don’t depend on immigrant communities for anything, you are definitely wrong. Immigrant workers drive our food system, they dominate care work – like nannies and elder care support. How we stand up for these people who have supported our communities in countless ways is a test of our humanity. If you don’t know enough about this issue, you can read stories here, here and here.]

Then today the news that Andy Puzder withdrew his nomination for Secretary of Labor. I feel so heartened by this. Not out of schaudenfreude, but out of a genuine care and concern for the millions of workers in the fast food industry who have already been exploited by his leadership and the millions more that would be exploited if he were confirmed.

But also heartened because our collective action worked. Earlier this week, I wrote about how no effort is wasted and even if we don’t know the impact of our actions, we have to keep at it. And look: impact.

Some of my friends and colleagues are already cautioning that the next nominee may be worse. And yes that is true. But anything that limits the power of an authoritarian fascist is progress. We have limited his power. And even more, we now know that there are some limits to what is considered acceptable in the current political climate. This may be the first time we’ve seen that. Sexual predation, racist attacks on communities of color, blatant appeals to anti-semitism,  even possible treason, have continued to be validated by how the ruling party has reacted to events of the past few months. Republicans are saying there's no need to investigate Michael Flynn. But now we know there are limits. I'm not sure what tipped the scales away from Puzder but I hope our journalist corps is figuring that out now. We can learn from this – learn from what worked, understand what are the limits now being revealed, and use that to further advance the cause of freedom from exploitation and domination.

I am mindful of my reaction, how much it reveals attachment to outcomes. It is important not to get sucked back into the cycle of outrage, action, result.

It turns out that letting go of outrage is not necessarily a bad thing. We can’t only act when fuelled by the fire of anger, by the energy created by confronting crisis. The current crisis may go on for years. I hate to admit it, but we are witnessing the advent of a global movement toward isolationism, xenophobia, white supremacy. Violence. We don’t know how long it will take to push it back. We have to sustain the work for the long term, and acting out of outrage is not sustainable. There is the possibility of acknowledging how much of what is happening is beyond acceptability without getting pulled into the emotional fire of outrage. It is possible to act out of assessment, knowledge, clarity and not need emotions to fire action.

In the chapter of the Bhagavad Gita I’m reading now, Arjuna asks Krishna what causes people to go in the wrong direction. Krishna replies: connection to sense objects, which fuels desire, which can never be sated, which causes anger. Anger embeds us more fully in the cycle of suffering, and prevents us from moving toward true realization of the self. Possibly, letting go of outrage opens the door to taking action without involving anger.

The core of yoga is that action moves us on the path to enlightenment. We can't sit on the sidelines and expect to realize our full selves.  But yogic action doesn’t come from emotion or inspiration. It comes from long, uninterrupted practice, with devotion - Abhyasa. And from letting go of attachment to the fruits of our labors - Vairagya. That means practicing yoga even if you don’t feel like. It means practicing the path of justice, even if there isn’t a reserve of anger to fuel action. It all means getting up every day, acting for the greater good, regardless of how you feel inside, and knowing that over time the cumulative effect of that work will bear out. Even if you don’t see it.

I’m back to the deeper practice of yoga now – no longer needing yoga and meditation as a refuge from the daily events, but still doing it. I got my 10-minute headstand back, which itself is evidence that the vrttis – disturbances – are subsiding somewhat.

And I’m continuing to move into the deeper practice of the quest for real justice. Not out of anger or outrage, but because it is my path.

There’s so much in the Bhagavad Gita about doing your duty, knowing what is your way of contributing to reducing the suffering of others. Walking on your path, not trying to walk someone else’s path. These are all ideas with deep resonance to our time. And letting go of outrage gives us a chance to explore them, and feel the deep gratitude that comes from living out your true purpose.

I hope you are finding your own path right now. And finding some equanimity amidst the chaos of our world.

With love, gratitude and solidarity.