No Effort Is Wasted

It’s been about six weeks since I started this blog. I was just starting to write something about what it’s been like to try to write regularly, the interesting experience of not knowing if I have anything to say but then discovering my thoughts as I write them. And how surprising it is that I’ve been able to write a couple of days a week even despite the rest of my crazy life.

Then it happened – two weeks without posting something of substance.

I’m just reflecting on that gap. It happened, in part, because we had a staff retreat in DC and every day there were meetings from morning til night, with extra work time before and after to attend to the normal workload. And then I had to travel to New Jersey for a few days. Airplane time is good blogging time, but in this case I drove. So that didn’t work. 

It also happened because I’ve been trying to keep the news at arms length.

It also happened because I started to feel kind of numb. I really thought we could beat back Betsy DeVos’ nomination. Or Tom Price. One of them. So when they were confirmed along with Jeff Sessions in a flurry of long days and late night votes, I just felt overcome.

It’s important to remember that no effort is wasted. Everything we are doing to oppose the nominations, and now to address the deportations that are beginning on a massive scale, everything we do has an effect even if we don't see it.

I’m continuing my reading of the Bhagavad Gita. I’m just working my way through, one chapter at a time. Trying to grasp the narrative alongside all the analysis. Chapter 2 is about what it means to be enlightened, what is the experience of yoga, what would it look like to actually act out of a yogic place. Arjuna has sat down on the battlefield and asked Krishna what to do, and he responds first by explaining what it means to live the yogic life.

Krishna’s explanation is all about developing equanimity, loosing and then losing attachment – to things, to sense objects, to outcomes. The idea is to transcend all the dualities – pleasure and pain, credit and blame, fame and infamy. Acting out of duty and knowledge, without expectation of praise, credit, success. On the one hand, he says: As for you, do the work the comes to you – but don’t look for the results. Don’t be motivated by the fruits of your actions, nor become attached to inaction (BG 2.47).

And yet, underneath any of our actions is faith that all effort has an impact. You may not see it, you may not recognize it. You might find out that you have had a profound impact many years later. The impact may not be known til after you die. You can’t measure your own impact or success. You just act out of goodwill, knowledge of the right path. And don’t stop to evaluate what you’re getting back.

These are very important ideas for our time.  We know we don’t have the votes, for example, to actually hold up any of the nominations. Our actions to oppose them are the right actions. We have to keep moving forward with faith that the impact will be felt somehow, somewhere. That over time the cumulative effect will help to shift history. Even though on any given day, we don’t necessarily see a victory. The only way we will have the strength to keep fighting through what may be a long and challenging time is to let go of attachment, have faith in our impact, and find the wisdom of equaniminty.

But I've struggled with these ideas - especially in the context of the deportations and in the organizing around Black Lives Matter. How do we bear witness to the incredible injustices being perpetrated but stay unattached to outcomes. I want to stop the deportations. I want people of color to live without fear, for their neighborhoods to be safe and thriving places. I feel an urgency around doing my part in that. I think about my sisters and brothers in the struggle for whom these are family, friends, neighbors - how can I say to them my goal is to work hard but be unattached to outcomes? 

There has been a long-term conversation in the disciplines of engaged buddhism around how to be engaged while letting go of attachment. We haven't had that conversation in yoga because I think our (mostly white middle class and privileged) communities haven't been engaged enough to come to that dilemma. Maybe this is part of why I'm writing this blog - to find my own path through the dilemmas of action and inaction. 

For now, I can say that yoga, meditation, and being slightly less connected to the news are all practices that are helping me. I hope you are all finding the practices that help you stay strong, focused and energized right now. 

With love and solidarity.