It seems like the right time to be reflecting on Sauca – cleanliness. It’s the end of a
season of eating and drinking, a time when attention goes to turning over a new
leaf in the new year.
This year has been particularly hard on my body and I have
failed to practice cleanliness a lot. Working on the election was physically
and emotionally exhausting. Even though I managed to maintain my yoga practice
right up until the last week or so, when get-out-the-vote season takes over
everything else, I still ate the wrong foods, drank more alcohol than I would
normally, and my entire life was overtaken by work. Focusing on one particular
outcome naturally builds attachment to outcomes – so there’s some lack of
cleanliness in the mind that flows from that.
The aftermath of the election has been even worse. I
resorted to a lot of comfort eating and drinking, failing to re-integrate
exercise into my life, the kind of coping mechanisms that might feel good in the
moment, but only prolong the misery over any period of time. And I’ve felt like
I’m living in a constant state of emotional fear and crisis. It’s a muddiness,
a murkiness that seems opposed to sauca.
Looking ahead to the new year, I already had a few
intentions to restore cleanliness. I did a thorough cleaning/organizing job on
my yoga space. Getting rid of clutter and dust creates the possibility of more
clarity of mind. Cleaning the space is part of living out an intention to
practice more.
My spouse and I also decided to do a 30-day cleanse in the
new year. We are giving up dairy, wheat, sugar, caffeine and alcohol and also
avoiding all processed foods. We’ve done it before – it is incredibly hard, but
really helps clear out all the addictions to sugar, bread and comfort foods
that have set in.
And, inspired by my (diabetic) spouse successfully giving up
sugar for a whole year, I decided to give up alcohol for 2017. I don’t really
have a “problem” with alcohol, in the sense that I don’t drink to excess, I don’t
get out of control, I don’t do things I later regret. But, in the labor
movement, drinking is a major, chronic problem. It’s how we cope with the
stress and pressure and the disappointments. Since my social justice practice
moved more into the labor movement I found myself drinking more and more often
than I need to. One thing I have noticed over the years is that even one drink
at night slows me down in the morning. I wake up feeling more fatigued, take
longer to get moving, am more likely to sacrifice my yoga time for more sleep.
Or I’m just so sluggish I can’t really get my mind into it. Having seen my
spouse say no to sugar over and over again this year, even while I sat next to
her and happily chowed down on every variety of chocolate and baked goods, made
me realize how doable it is. With intention and commitment.
So I have an intention not to drink in 2017. I made the decision
to do it about a month ago and I already noticed myself turning down a drink,
or taking less enjoyment even when I did have a beer or glass of wine. It’s
like some part of me is turning away from that experience in favor of something
deeper.
I have to admit that part of my interest in sauca also came from reading all the
various things circulating on the internet about how to prepare for a Trump
era. This
article is a good example. This Yale history professor who studies
authoritarianism wrote a list of ways to prepare to live under authoritarian government.
Many of the items on the list involve some kind of cleanliness – cleanliness and
fitness of the body because “Power wants your body softening in your chair and
your emotions dissipating on the screen.” Cleaning up your legal and financial
situation – because power preys on any weakness and legal and financial
problems make you vulnerable. I found this list incredibly helpful in part
because it made me aware of things I could do. But also because it reminded me
that so much of how authoritarian states operate is to take things away at a
very personal level. (And also to destroy the basic bonds of personal
relationships and community, but that’s a topic for another day). Asserting,
protecting, cultivating those things is itself a form of resistance.
One of the pieces of writing that has helped me the most is this
recent article by Rebecca Solnit. I had already got her book Hope in the
Dark – which is pretty much on everyone’s “prepare for Trump” reading list –
though I haven’t started reading it yet. She is friends of friends of mine who
live and work in the Bay Area and a longtime social movement leader, critic and
writer. I loved this article because it is so real – it doesn’t sugarcoat the
reality that all the values and many of the people I know and love are already
under attack. And this next period is going to intensify that attack. There’s
no point in being in denial about it. But hope is a very powerful response, and
in some ways the only response we have. It’s a version of pratipaksha bhavanam –
envisioning a different reality even when it seems remote and distant is how we
bring that reality into fruition. My friend Anne-Marie recently wrote a
beautiful blog about pratipaksha bhavanam here (I
don’t know if it pops up to that entry, but if you don’t see it right away
scroll down for the Dec 15 post).
But the Solnit article reminded me that I have spent too
much time the past 8 weeks reading about how bad it is. Reading about all the
crazy things Trump is doing and saying. Putting myself in direct contact with
the ways he is already abrogating our democracy, and advancing his personal
financial interest ahead of any version of national interest. It’s a kind of a
pollution of the mind and emotions. I’ve been increasing my own fear and
emotional instability by steeping in all the bad news. I’m not saying I should
be in denial, or be uninformed, or stop reading the news. But I do need to find
a way to create cleanliness of the mind by also reading more things that remind
me of what is good and beautiful in the moment. And what is possible in the
future. I feel like part of the practice of sauca
is to create more opportunities to have hope. One of the reasons I decided to
start writing this blog was to create a space to be more intentional and
disciplined about shifting my attention away from the constant stream of internet
news and toward cultivating the clarity and strength to act.
All of these thoughts made me curious about what the sutras
say about cleanliness. 11.32, 11.40 and 11.41 seem like the relevant ones. Most
of the commentary on these sutras is about physical cleanliness. Meaning water
and soap to cleanse the external body, asana and pranayama to cleanse the
internal body. Edwin Bryant’s commentary
on 11.32 talks a bit about why it’s important to refrain from consuming alcohol
and meat. The idea is that alcohol and meat cause fluctuations in the mind, and
since the goal of yoga is to still the fluctuations, consuming alcohol and meat
takes you farther away from the intended state and makes it impossible to
experience yoga. That aligns with my reasons for wanting to give up alcohol. I
rarely eat meat, though re-reading the sutra and commentary reminded me of why
I should give up even the rare indulgences.
Bryant also talks about mental cleanliness, “The
commentators speak of jealousy pride, vanity, hatred, and attachment as
examples of mental contamination. Bhoja Raja states that internal cleanliness
is to be accomplished by benevolence – exuding a friendly attitude toward all”
(Bryant 253).
The commentary on the other two sutras focuses on
cleanliness of the body as a way of getting over attraction to others, sexual
fantasies, misperceiving the beauty of the body. That’s not really a problem I
have, although it did make me think a little bit about how much we focus on
trying to look good. How I always wish I could lose weight. How that’s part of
the illusion of thinking about the body as some indicator of self and
self-worth.
11.41 is much more about cleanliness of mind and spirit, and
that speaks much more to what I need in my life right now. Bryant’s
translation: Upon purification of the
mind, [one attains] cheerfulness, one-pointedness, sense control, and fitness
to perceive the self.
I know that the clarity of mind and body I want goes beyond
just sauca. Arguably all the yamas
and niyamas – the practices of yoga that are off the mat – contribute to that
clarity of mind. Really it’s one of the main points of practicing yoga in all of
it’s forms and most of the sutras say something about what it takes to create
clarity, the right kind of thoughtfulness, the stance of compassion, the
physical strength and emotional stability to take action, the mental strength
to resist the temptation of judgment and certitude. All of those things are part of the “coping
with Trump” toolkit.
This is the last paragraph of Rebecca Solnit's article:
Many people are still trying to figure out what to do; others are doing it. They give me hope, in some portion of humanity, the portion that will resist Trump and defend our ideals. It will be hard. It will be ugly. Our job will be to be embody and protect all of those things most antithetical to authoritarianism, racism, misogyny, kleptocracy, an atmosphere of lies and indifference to science, fact and truth.
In easy times, we grow slack; this will require us each to find our capacity for heroism. Some will, and my hope lies with them. Or us.
I’m thinking about sauca right now because it’s a useful lens to look through to see the whole picture. It’s a place to start. A way of finding capacity for heroism, creating the conditions for love, solidarity, peacefulness in the New Year, in whatever ways those things can exist.
This is the last paragraph of Rebecca Solnit's article:
Many people are still trying to figure out what to do; others are doing it. They give me hope, in some portion of humanity, the portion that will resist Trump and defend our ideals. It will be hard. It will be ugly. Our job will be to be embody and protect all of those things most antithetical to authoritarianism, racism, misogyny, kleptocracy, an atmosphere of lies and indifference to science, fact and truth.
In easy times, we grow slack; this will require us each to find our capacity for heroism. Some will, and my hope lies with them. Or us.
I’m thinking about sauca right now because it’s a useful lens to look through to see the whole picture. It’s a place to start. A way of finding capacity for heroism, creating the conditions for love, solidarity, peacefulness in the New Year, in whatever ways those things can exist.
This is great, Kathleen. Super thoughtful, practical and inspiring.
ReplyDeleteThank you Anne-Marie. It's really nice to be in dialogue with you.
ReplyDeleteThere is so much here to chew on -- I particularly love the idea of cleanliness of the mind in relation to moving forward to turn bad situations into good ones (hello, Trump). But I'm fascinated by the idea that focusing on one outcome could cause lack of cleanliness -- would love to hear more from you on that. This is the sentence I'm referring to:
ReplyDelete"Focusing on one particular outcome naturally builds attachment to outcomes – so there’s some lack of cleanliness in the mind that flows from that."
yeah. that is a good question. In yoga we are supposed to practice diligently and with devotion, but without any attachment to outcomes. You do all the things you're supposed to do because there's inherent goodness, not because you want a reward or for things to go a certain way. Definitely working on the election I was very attached to the outcome! I think part of the problem is when we think we know what the right outcome should be when in fact we don't know. And then wanting it - that's the wrong motivation. There's similar concept in buddhism - you do good things just because you are willing to. Not because you expect or demand or need them to get to a certain outcome.
ReplyDeleteLove this. Love you.
ReplyDeleteThank you Katie! love you too and the community we share.
ReplyDeleteis this kathleen m-h? wonderful to find your blog! so inspiring and encouraging. much love and power to you. gwi-seok (peggy)
ReplyDeleteyes that's me - thank you gwi-seok. Great to be in the work with you.
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